Life milestones are underwhelming
9 days to one year ago I typed into Pinterest “Sydney” to print it, cut it out and put it on my vision board after receiving a visa the week before and after some thought had agreed with myself to go and spend time there that actually surfaced 10 years ago. The picture was a restaurant that overlooked the Opera house I didn’t know exactly where that place was until a month ago when the lady I was sharing her apartment with in Sydney told me “I know where that picture was taken, It’s the Hyatt hotel.” So today I came here, when I saw the exact frame that had been next to my bed for nearly a year. I did feel joy, a sense of pride for us that we were experiencing this, it was quite surreal. But with equal feelings of underwhelm, an underlining noise of what else needs to be done that day, no added happiness or worth to who I am and actually it was just a table and chairs with a nice view. I share this because the things we want that feels of distance to achieve whether it is personally, financially, romantically or in your business normally come’s with the layering of society’s Disney story. That almost promises us we will feel a certain feeling of accomplishment, success, happiness, love or more worth there.
With my experience and life to date along with influencing the growth of 18 female led Businesses personally too over the last 2 years. The things that aren’t on your vision board, all the moments in between and the ones that you do en route that take you to those huge milestones is truly where you will find your accomplishments, worth and happiness. I promise, it is where fulfilment and your success is. So let me take you back to where my love story with Sydney started.
In the early days
It was always a dream to come to Sydney it’s threaded through my life over the last decade. Starting when I lived in Canada at 21 navigating my way through the tv and performing industry. “If you love Vancouver you’d love Sydney.” Was what I always heard from my friends. A city surrounded by water is surely a beautiful thing. To then working freelance over the years supporting a Sydney based global company that I saw and worked with to scale into the uk and Europe for 7 years. For years on the hamster wheel of co-founding and directing a lettings company, my schedule just felt too tight to travel and experience the other side of the world for the duration I wanted. So we skip to June 2020 as I was closing my first business and I was a week away from 31. I read online I could apply for a working holiday visa as long as the application was dated before turning 31, so I did.
October 2020 I founded my next business which from all my learnings and from working with an incredible mentor. I built this one “inside out - not outside in.” When I took away my creative brain of what is a great business idea, gap in the market or what skills can I adapt too to make money? I stopped and actually built services based on me. Who am I? What are my effortless talents? (and I promise we all have them). What do I truly care about? What change would I dream of seeing in the world? That turned out to be more humans believing and executing that they are more than their conditionings of society, upbringing and education and to believe they could create a life in the same way as myself and how to turn that into a Business if that was their truest desires. More than humans- Women specifically. From everything the world had taught me to date and learning more about our history and other Women’s experience’s. It was apparent that we are still coding from the effects of societal expectations and still navigating our way to solely show up without layers of masculine behaviour that very easily can become toxic to be seen as worthy, professional, heard or great at business and resulting in the abandonment of our truest balanced self. So that was it and thats where it started. A business built from my laptop mentoring Women to lead and build Businesses through their purpose. Throughout that year I spent some time working from Dubai, Rome, and had a solo trip to Istanbul. When I think back to those times and reflect, I went through so many emotions and challenges. The journey of building a Business specifically.
Truly working from your truest self in business
It felt so different to co-founding and being apart of a team. The small Laura inside having more moments of doubt, feeling stretched and through my past and upbringing with no influence of business and a very low risk 9-5 family environment feeling maybe all of this to date has only worked because of all of these people around me. How do I do this alone? Learning how to honour that small me and listen to her, help her was so hard for the masculine I had become over the years too. Resilient, strong, a hustler, undefeated showing up, suppressing her emotions and feelings at times to just kept going. Shiny, perfect well turned out Laura that everyone liked and wanted to invest in. Being my truest self and navigating a new business was more vulnerable than any route I had taken before because you have to develop a strong sense of accountability to your higher awareness and self. Which in hindsight is the route to finding your purpose and building that “inside-out” business. Trusting in it and you. Laura Belcher was in the spot light, her thoughts, her processes from her mind. It wasn't a service, product company or agency she was representing on behalf of and for that if felt exposing. This took time to really establish the personal and business disconnect and its something I work with my 1:1 clients on. Harnessing and honouring my deep level of feeling and intuition to read and guide Women led me to truly seeing that my core talents as myself is the ability to navigate Women in their Businesses or mentor them to develop one.
1 year ago
The morning of the 10th December 2021, in my inbox just popped up an email from the Australian embassy and enclosed was an attachment that said “Visa granted”. I actually didn’t tell anyone for a few days because I just needed to process it. Did I even still want to go? As you know now so much had changed from the application in June 2020 and I had also became a mum to a fat angel Pug my darling Bruno and you know at 33 it felt a bit different for me and maybe in a way the ‘wrong’ thing to be doing. Next on the vision board tick list was that glass fronted house, a family, I had got comfortable getting older feeling more settled. But you know there was something inside so deep that kept re-surfacing, I had always had this feeling also of not feeling fully committed to the idea of living in the UK, my intuition was still pulling me to be brave and go. My meditations always brought me to the water and sun and the connection to Sydney always felt that maybe its the destination in where I am meant to live and set up my next chapter of life?
So we made a decision to leave which was soon halted with Australia’s restrictions from the post effects of covid. So I released it and the idea after lots of resistance and sadness. In reflection after committing to the decision it felt as though I was then waiting to start my next chapter. Through the first 6 months of 2022. I put on my first in person event bringing to life the syllabus I had mentored my 1:1 clients and over this period we took a solo trip to Mexico too. Along with some personal challenges learning more about myself and coming away even further from the conditionings of years of toxic masculine environments refining and perfecting the art of being liked and always closing sales, leading with learnt language instead of just honing my truth and trusting that is all I need to speak to gain the clients I believed I could help. I was growing and therefore my business was too. When this happens and we commit to the existential crisis of what needs to alter it always comes of waves of challenges and that exactly happened it was a rocky first part of the year.
Summer 2022
July 2022 and I was planning my next event. July 6th- my Birthday, Australia restrictions lifted. On my Birthday, what madness. However It was though I had to process it all again at the time I had also viewed an apartment I was looking to possibly move into. After the viewing I sat in Waga Mamas and thought “you know if I took that apartment I would be sitting in it waiting to go to Australia, and the idea of the reverse didn’t feel the same.” Let’s head to Sydney mid October after my event on a way ticket and for their summer. That was the plan. Now beforehand I realised I had to let go of a lot of expectations. Come on, it had now turned into its own romantic film let alone a milestone. In reality I wasn’t stepping off the plane to my already formed family, brand new community of women I could help or glass panelled home. September came and I was so grateful for the event I led offering so many women so much insight and support in their Businesses and new paths to see how they can build one. The day was led with my goal of every women feeling safe, seen and heard, feeling connected and enough to tap into their purpose and be brave enough to lead with it. October 14th I landed in Sydney. And well I’m sure you can guess. And no matter how much I did try. There were a few meltdowns alone in an apartment. I’ll never forget my taxi ride to the apartment through the rain, grey Skys and industrial neighbourhoods. “This is NOT what I envisioned. I have a lovely life at home, what have I done?”
Where fulfilment really is found
Skip 2 months and I bring you back to where we’re sitting right now. Celebrating our Christmas party at Laura Belcher Ltd with just me, looking at this view and milestone. On the 19th December 2022 commencing into the countdown week of Christmas.
So I have taken you through the journey of achieving if you will this milestone and arriving at the destination but I have done a few of these now along with seeing my clients and friends achieve many too and well from these learnings I’m instinctively believing the others on my tick list and yours with play out very similar. Including all the big one’s society places and cashes in on us. Graduation, buying a property, your wedding day, when your Business reaches certain goals. The promotion. It is never about the snapshot. There is no fulfilment there because whatever we place on anything is a figure of our imagination, Disneys imagination, Instagrams, your parents, the medias. And the reason why your happiness, worth and love cant be placed on it, Is because the younger version of you that thought you would feel certain things at each point is always following you around either doubting, questioning everything, worrying about something else or waiting for the next thing. If you can resonate to this today. To work towards stopping these thoughts. I would say in any moment of overwhelm or fear. Stop and ask yourself, “in this present moment this one snapshot do I feel enough. Safe, loved, supported, respected and true to my values in how I’m showing up today in everything work relationships, and enivronment?” When from our heart we can answer a straight “yes” is where I feel success truly sits.
Without us realising our brain looks at a future moment and fills in all the gaps but in reality there are so many nuances to life. We could reach a financial goal and have a death in the family. Get married and loose everything in our business. Milestones can of course bring elements of joy, happiness and an abundance of pride but what I have learnt so strongly to date and what I want to share with you. Is that they are just another moment in your life, your day in fact. The glorified version of what it represents on your vision board, screen saver, your dreams isn’t the reality because we can never predict the future.
If you are placing any feeling of being more of a success there, loved there or worthy you’ll be disappointed- you are actually only robbing yourself of the happiness and love you deserve today. That’s an inside job and in all the small moments of your processes and journey. The mountains you climb when you are in absolute fear, rivers of vulnerability you swim. Patience you adopt to being truthful to yourself even in the struggles and trust in your path even when it looks different to others is actually where the deepest level of fulfilment is, growth and worth. When I look at that picture now that for me is exactly what Sydney represents, not the snapshot but what got we here and what to date I have learn’t about myself here. Not the glass house or family.
Dare to be your truest self in everything you are today and moving into 2023. Be so proud of exactly where you are, because I’m pretty certain without reaching any new point’s, goals or milestones. When you lead with your truth your younger self is so incredibly proud of where you are right now.
Love as always
Laura
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