How to overcome the fear of going after what we really want- being brave is all we can really be

Whenever I talk with someone wanting more in life, be it fulfilment, a dream job, financial freedom, a dream partner or a passion, they feel too vulnerable to pursue in case they fail. I always describe the sensation they are feeling and what I believe a lot of the world will face at some point in their human life as the ‘river of vulnerability.’ It’s like we are all born on one side of it and on that riverbank you will find jobs that give you money for nice things, like holidays, cars, houses, you will find many people for relationships in every way. But the truth is that in the distance beyond the river is where your real dream life is waiting for you. 

Your dream partner or your dream job, you can see your ideal dream day, maybe a calling for something you are so deeply passionate about but it’s a bit foggy and you can’t quite see exactly what it is. But when you are on the ‘safe’ side of the riverbank, you feel a connection to it and an interest that makes you talk about it all the time, you take part in things connected to it, maybe even volunteer your time to it.

The only way across the river is to swim..

Now here’s where it gets interesting. The river sits between both realities and the only way across is to swim. You can gauge that it’s deep, there are logs floating through it and possibly alligators. It's unclear and intimidating, and it almost makes you feel like you won’t make it. We are frightened to cross because of the unknown, the fear, the lack of control at any point. The wonder of if I can really do this so staying on this side of the riverbank, the ‘safe’ one seems so tempting.

I know and can see this so clearly because that analogy was born out of my own experiences in life and every other brave Women that I mentor living her authentic journey. The Woman who is willing to get in the river and swim. Swim because she didn’t know how she would make it across but she knew of others that had and she didn’t want to live on the riverbank of short wins. She was ready for the deep wins, the ones that when she visualised she could do it, she started seeing them clearer and clearer across the bank. The best relationships that are led from a place of oneness and love for herself first, not a place of validation or insecurity. The purpose that fired her from such a deep place from within, where she could attract financial wealth as a bi-product and live a life fully on her terms. 

You have to be prepared that it will take time and patience..

The person that gets in the river has to understand that it could take weeks to cross or even sometimes years. They have to truly know that it’s a game of patience, and that they may have days when they have to tackle an alligator. Days where they are in such viscous rapids they question whether they will drown. Weeks when they just have to pause on a log because the river is blocked with obstacles that she can’t pursue this week. Yet the liberation to feel you soul challenged is the richest feeling in the world. On your journey you will meet other people showing up, being vulnerable along the way swimming through their own river.

You will have so many challenges on your own that you will develop a sense of calm in any chaos. An undivided element of trust. Trust for yourself, your worth, deserving and a knowing that even as your hair is drenched, your clothes are sticking and torn, and you are bare faced - you showed up and you are so proud of this version of you. When you finally make it to the other side and live in such euphoric peace, it is the richest you have ever felt, it’s like you have cracked the secret code to life. Even on the swim you’ll feel this because in any of the moments of pause you can reflect on your swim so far what you have learnt and how you have grown to be more secure and true alignment to yourself. This is also when the need of all the things on the other ‘safe’ side is lessened because being brave and betting on yourself for your dreams is more fulfilling. We realise so much of the the small wins from the ‘safe side’ aren’t as enticing and necessary anymore because actually in reflection they were shorts wins that served the ego or validation. Just small moments of distractions. Distractions from that small voice in our head that got louder and louder until we fully listened to it.

As a mentor I sit in the river for you. I will guide you through the alligators and rapids. Shout when a log is heading your way. I get to celebrate all your accomplishments with you steering you to the other side and showing you the way but I can’t swim it for you. Thats up to you to make the decision to jump, you have to believe in the dreams on the other side for you first.

Be brave my darling, if you are looking for a sign to leave the ‘safe side’ this is it. Be brave enough to get still with your mind, close down the ego and open your heart space to what you truly desire and swim.

Love always,

Laura xx